If you would have asked me 10 years ago what I wanted to be "when I grew up", the job of "Mom" definitely wouldn't have topped the list (probably wouldn't have even made the top 5). All through my teenage years I had plenty of other big dreams that I wanted to fulfill, most of which would have made child rearing difficult. Getting married and having babies, just didn't appeal to me.
Thankfully, God had other plans for me. After I met my husband, and got married (pretty young, I might add), it took a little while, but eventually I realized that the career aspirations I had were not as important as family (particularly my family, or the family I was supposed to have). That is when things changed for me forever.
These days I can't imagine being anything else. Being a Mom is what I am supposed to be doing. The peace and indescribable joy that I feel when I look at my children outweighs any feelings of loss I may have over old dreams that never came to fruition.
Don't get me wrong - there are days where if I hear the word "Mommy" one more time (think whiny tones) I am going to loose it. And there are plenty of nights where by the time 8:00 pm rolls around, I don't want anyone to touch me, or look at me, or talk to me - and I just want to be left alone.
But, there are also days where my heart melts at an expression on one of my kids faces, or I laugh out loud at something they've said or done. And almost everyday, at least a little bit, they make me smile and thank my Father in Heaven for letting me be their mom.
I know that I am not the world's greatest. I do the best I can, but I make plenty of mistakes. I am truly grateful for children who forgive me, and still love me even when I mess up. Especially, even when I mess up big.
My pregnancies are long, difficult processes with less than easy recoveries. We've had major health scares with all of our children. Most likely I will spend every day of the rest of my life worrying about them. And yet, I would take it all a thousand times over again if that is what it took to have them.
I love being a mom. There is a time in my life when I never thought I would say that, but it is so true. I am grateful that my children are safe and whole and healthy and that we can be an eternal family. It really doesn't get any better than this.
I also have to add a "Happy Mother's Day" to my own mom and mother-in-law. Two of the greatest moms I know. Hopefully someday my kids will feel the same way about me.
**On a side note: The primary kids, and all the youth from our church sang a wonderful "non-traditional" Mother's day song during church today. This post is getting a little long, so I wont include it here but the words and music can be found here. It is a really beautiful, touching song. I really recommend checking it out.
1 comment:
Thanks for this Kim, it was uplifting to read.
Also, I LOVE the froof! What a cute dress!
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