Eight

Eight years ago today I was here:

With this guy:

 For this:

We were both a little younger, and thinner.  In the years since that day we've been through a lot.  Some good, some not so good, some downright sucky.  But, we've always been together.

Sometimes he drives me crazy, but I couldn't imagine ever loving someone more.

He knows what I need to hear, even when I don't want to hear it.
He knows how to make me feel better when I feel like crying.
He knows how to make me smile, and even more important - he knows how to make me laugh.
He's goofy, and crazy, and aggravating, wonderful all rolled into one.

I know eternity would be a lonely place without him.

I love you Babe!

Happy Birthday!

Beefy turned 4 today.  I can't believe how time flies.

Happy Birthday Buddy!  I Love You.

Lucky Number 7

Our 7th anniversary passed while I was in Utah. We had been looking forward going on a date that night before I had to leave, and funny enough - when the actual day came, neither of us remembered until late in the afternoon. Therefore, it only stands to reason that (of course) I am late in blogging about it too. Oh, well - I was actually late last year too. Isn't it too bad, how my good intentions always go awry.

In honor of the occasion, I thought I'd pull out the wedding photo archives and share some. Enjoy!

Cindy

I've been mulling over this post for almost a week now. In that time, it has morphed significantly, yet I still fear that my ability to put my feelings down into words is not what it needs to be right now to do them justice. Either way, I need to record how I feel.

I want to write about Cindy today. First though, let me give you background.

Cindy is the mother of my "best-friend-since-the-8th-grade", Lisa. As teenagers, Lisa and I were inseparable. We were always at one or the other's houses. We did all of the same extra-curricular activities, went on each other's family vacations, roomed together in college, and she was the Maid-of-Honor when I got married.

Obviously, I gained a close friendship with Lisa's family over the years, and they have always seemed like an extension of my own.

Her mom, Cindy has always been kind of a second mom to me. She ranks at the top of my list as one of the kindest, most generous people I know. She exemplified Christ-like service in a way that is hard to duplicate, and I am forever going to be grateful for that example.

A few weeks ago, Cindy became suddenly ill. A difficult thing, especially for someone as active and outgoing as she is. She developed a condition called ARDS, in which her lungs just couldn't do their job anymore. She passed away last Saturday, one day short of her 50th birthday.

It doesn't quite seem real at times, and then the heavy feeling on my heart sets in and it suddenly hits me again that this is truly happening.

When I got the call from Lisa, on Saturday afternoon, I packed up myself and the kids, kissed my Husband (and thanked him for being so supportive of it) and we took of in the car to be with Lisa and her family. (my husband would have come to, but was unable to take the time off from work) We are in Utah now and will probably stay through the end of the week.

I am truly grateful today for the testimony I have of God's plan. That this life isn't the end, and that families can be eternal. I couldn't imagine facing something like this without that knowledge.

Over the last few days my mind has been inundated with my memories of Cindy, a true testimony of her presence in my life. It makes me feel sad, of course, but also happy that I am able to have so many positive recollections of her life. I hope someday soon to be able to record those memories so that I won't forget them.

She was very loved and will be missed terribly. Cindy truly was an amazing woman, and I will always treasure the fact that I was able to call her my friend.

Happy Birthday!

Guess Who's 5 Today....

Happy Birthday Buggy! We love you lots.

**We haven't actually got either of the boys "Birthday Pictures" taken yet. Hopefully, I'll be posting those soon.

Belated Birthdays (Part 2)

My husband's birthday was on the 21st of May. He believes that after the age of 10, birthdays are no big deal anymore. Even so, we got him a cake and a couple of presents and celebrated a little bit.

He is a wonderful husband, and a fantastic dad, and I love him even more now than when I married him (cliche, I know - but its true). I am very grateful that he works so hard for us so that I can be home with our kids. It means a lot to me.

Happy birthday Babe, you're the greatest!

Belated Happy Birthdays (Part 1)

My good intentions were to make this post before we went on vacation. That didn't happen obviously, so here we are, just a little late.

On May 16th, my Beefy boy turned 3. Man, time flies. I feel really blessed that we have him here and that he is doing so well. During the aftermath of his accident last year, I couldn't have looked at him the way he was, and imagined that he would be so perfect, and whole and normal, the way he is now.

I love you Beefy! Happy #3.

Six Years and a Day

I'm a day late with this. I had good intentions to get this posted yesterday, but the day, as usual, got away from me. Yesterday was our anniversary. Six years. Sometimes it seems like it just happened and we are still newlyweds and sometimes it seems like we have always been this way.
My husband and I met while going to school at Utah State. I was a freshman and he had just returned from a church mission in Germany. We were both in the marching band (I know, terribly romantic), he played trombone, and I was on the Drumline. One of his friends was dating one of mine, and we both got dragged along to the same party one night and ended up sitting next to each other while playing games. He tried to be smooth and was totally hitting on me, it was pretty funny actually, but for some reason he had charmed me. The rest is history. Our first date was the next day, and we've pretty much been together ever since.
We got engaged three months later, and we were married in the Salt Lake Temple on June 18th, 2002. (us, and like 85 other couples) We had our reception the next day, in my parents backyard. Today is actually the anniversary of our reception (so I guess I am not too late). After a very short honeymoon at a bed-and-breakfast, we moved back to Utah State to finish school.

The next six years have been defined with many more major life changes. While in school we moved twice, and both went to school year-round for 3 years. We had Buggy, and we both graduated when he was 10 months old. We went on our first family vacation to Disneyland too. We've moved another 3 times since then, one of them was a 1000 mile "big move". We've had another kid (Beefy) and we've lost a little girl too. My husband got his dream job and I got to adjust to being a stay at home mom. We've bought a house, two new cars and even a little bit of furniture. And we've got to have lots of adventures, and met lots of really great people along the way. (Hurray for that)
Neither of us are as thin or as young as we used to be, but that's okay. I guess the most I could ask for is an eternity's worth of more great years to come. I love you babe!

Happy Birthday Buggy

Buggy is four today. It makes me feel old. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago, and yet, there are days when I don't remember life before him. A lot has happened in that time. He has moved four times in his life. I've been through two pregnancies since him. My husband and I have graduated from college, made a halfway-across the country move, bought a house, and we are on our third "family car" since he was born. No wonder it seems like he has always been here. In honor of his day, I would like to tell the Buggy story.

Buggy was our miracle baby. He was due on August 20th. It had been a long hot summer, we lived in a 4th floor apartment and I was working a desk job at the time. All of these factors contributed to me retaining ALOT of water during my pregnancy (as anyone who knew me then can attest to). It was what is medically referred to as "pitting edema". My husband had a lot of fun writing words in my legs with his fingers and watching me grow out of a pair of flip-flops. Because of the other factors though, my doctor wasn't too concerned about the water retention (40 lbs total) until my blood pressure started to shoot up in my 33rd week. Severe preeclampsia. I was hospitalized then and there - I didn't even get to go home from my appointment, just straight over to L&D for monitoring. That was at 33wks 5days.

After 2 days of monitoring, instead of sending me home on bed rest, my doctor decided I just needed to not be pregnant anymore. Labor was induced and after 24 hours of nothing and blood pressures running in the 180/110 range I was whisked off for an emergency C-section. Buggy was born on July 10, 2004 at 34wks 1day. He weighed in at 5lbs 9oz (really good for a preemie) and was 17 inches long. He came out screaming and even peed on the pediatrician a couple of times while they were cleaning him off. He was breathing on his own and all looked to be going well.

(shortly after arriving at the NICU)

My husband followed him off to the NICU while I was recovering. Once there things took a bit of a down turn. They tried to feed him, just to see if he could do it - definitely couldn't. The feeding created lots of stress which in turn caused his O2 levels to drop, putting him on the oxygen tank that would become a regular fixture for him over the next month and a half. They also started an IV (a very sad sight on such a little baby) a heart monitor (precautionary), feeding tube, and he was put under lights for jaundice. The IV only lasted the first day, and he was away from the lights by day 4.

I was under strict 24hour bed rest after the delivery and therefore didn't get to see him until he was almost 10 hours old (I had a nice nurse who helped me sneak out to see him for a few minutes). What a hard thing to go through, me being stuck in my room, and him so far away from me. And it wasn't as though I could just get up and go see him. I had to be wheeled everywhere for the first couple of days after his birth.

(Learning to eat)

I was able to go home 4 days later (a very bittersweet moment), after a week in the hospital. But Buggy had to stay. We had lots of adventures in the NICU (stories for another day perhaps) and got to be pros at being "preemie parents" after his 2 1/2 week stay there. 17 days after his birth Buggy finally got to come home. We brought an oxygen tank home with us, but left the feeding tube and heart monitor behind. (hurray!) We were able to ditch the oxygen about a month after he got home, and from then on he took off.

(Going home day!)

We were told to expect some delays in his development due to his birth circumstances, but we haven't noticed any (unless you can call stubbornness a developmental delay). He is a smart kid who is doing fabulous. He lights up the room, and is full of energy and smiles. He gives the best hugs and is a very loving child, and I know my world is better because of him. I love you Buggy. Happy Birthday.
*On a side note-when we got a new computer last year, we somehow lost all of our wedding pictures and the photos of Buggy as a newborn (why only those ones I never will know). Therefore, these are scanned photos and a lower quality. Too bad, but at least I have them saved now.

Happy Birthday Beefy

Beefy turned two today. It makes me happy, but sad also. I feel old. My baby isn't a baby anymore. If he can turn into a little boy so quickly then I know that before I know it he will not even be a little boy anymore, but a lot of different variations on a big boy. My personal feelings aside though. This is his day. Since this is my page, and I get to put what I want here, I thought it would be fun to tell Beefy's story.
Beefy Now....


Beefy Then....

Beefy was born 3 weeks before his due date. He couldn't wait any longer to come out. I had been on bed rest for about 6 weeks, and had one round of false labor the week previous. My water broke at 1:00 a.m. and after two tries to wake my husband (he finally woke up the third try) we made it out the door and to the hospital. I had already planned to do a repeat c-section for delivery, but unfortunately since my labor wasn't progressing my doctor decided to make me wait it out through the night so he could sleep. He (the doctor) came in at 7:30 for the delivery and Beefy made his entrance at 7:52 a.m. He was 6lbs 9oz and 20 1/2 inches long.

Even when he was so small I had a hard time remembering what life was like without him. He just fit, right from the beginning, and I am so glad to have him as part of our family. He has a huge personality. He is full of mischief, but so loving too. He loves to cuddle and give hugs. He is very much a daddy's boy, but will still come to his mommy when he is sad. He really loves his big brother too (most of the time) and has recently taken to copying him in everything he does.

Happy Birthday Beefy, I love you.